The Core Principle
If you do good in this life, your afterlife will be filled with visions of the good your loved ones do.
If you do bad in this life, you will only witness the cringiest, most disappointing moments of your loved ones in the afterlife.
Your eternity is a reflection of your impact. Choose your vibe wisely.
Scripture of Brian
“The Good shall bask in joy, the Wicked shall cringe eternally.” – Brian 4:20
“Let not thy cousin’s NFT scheme trouble you, unless thou scammed too.” – The Scroll of Uncles 2:17
“Blessed are the snack sharers, for their pantry shall be endless.” – Epistle to the Roommates 3:11
Voices of the Faithful
“Ever since I joined the Way of Brian, I’ve stopped rage-posting on Facebook. I want my afterlife feed to be pure.” – Sister Donna of the Chill Vibes
“Brian helped me forgive my roommate for eating my labeled yogurt. It was… divine.” – Brother Chad of the Blessed Fridge
“When I learned that jerks get stuck watching cringe TikToks forever… I reformed.” – Reverend Memeus
Divine FAQ
- Does Brian judge?
- No, Brian just vibes. The Universe handles the sorting algorithm.
- Is there a dress code?
- Nope. Pajamas are encouraged, especially flannel.
- Can I still eat bacon?
- Absolutely. Brian believes in brunch without bounds.
- What happens after I die?
- Your soul gets front-row seats to the highlight reel of your loved ones’ lives—filtered by your own goodness.